Meltdown vs. Shutdown: Understanding the Difference

When people think of neurodivergence-related distress, they often picture a child having a visible outburst—a meltdown. However, autistic and/or ADHD distress doesn’t always look this way. For some, distress leads to a shutdown instead, which can be much less noticeable but equally overwhelming. Meltdowns and shutdowns don't just occur in children, they can continue into adolescence and adulthood, although they may change in frequency or presentation. A number of my adult clients experience meltdowns, shutdowns, or both.

Understanding the difference between a meltdown and a shutdown is important for recognising and supporting individuals in moments of extreme stress.

What Is a Meltdown?

A meltdown is an intense response to overwhelming stress or sensory input. It is not a tantrum or a deliberate act of defiance but rather a loss of emotional and behavioural control due to overload. Meltdowns can involve:

Crying, screaming, or shouting
Physical actions such as hitting, kicking, or flailing
Repetitive behaviours like rocking or hand-flapping
Self-injurious behaviours such as head-banging, biting, or intentional self-harm
Running away, or escaping

Unlike a tantrum, a meltdown does not stop when the individual gets what they want—rather, it continues until their nervous system has had time to recover.

What Is a Shutdown?

A shutdown is the opposite of a meltdown in terms of external expression but is just as distressing. Instead of an outward explosion, the person retreats inward. A shutdown can look like:

Becoming non-verbal or struggling to communicate
Freezing or appearing disconnected from the environment
Avoiding eye contact or closing their eyes
Withdrawing from interaction, curling up, or hiding
Being unable to respond to questions or instructions

Shutdowns often occur when the person is overwhelmed but does not have the capacity to outwardly express distress. Instead of lashing out, their brain enters a protective mode, reducing sensory input and social engagement to cope with overload.

Key Differences Between Meltdowns and Shutdowns

Both meltdowns and shutdowns result from sensory and emotional overload, but they manifest in different ways:

Feature	Meltdown	Shutdown
Expression	Outward (crying, yelling, physical actions)	Inward (silent, withdrawn, frozen)
Visibility	Highly visible	Often overlooked
Energy Level	High (fight-or-flight response)	Low (freeze response)
Behaviour	Reactive, can involve movement and vocalisation	Passive, may involve stillness or withdrawal
Aftermath	Exhaustion, possible embarrassment or distress about the episode	Fatigue, difficulty engaging, need for recovery time

Supporting Someone Experiencing a Meltdown or Shutdown

Whether someone is having a meltdown or a shutdown, they need understanding and support rather than punishment or pressure to “snap out of it.”

For Meltdowns:

Remove or reduce the trigger if possible (e.g., turn off bright lights, lower noise levels, remove demands).
Give space but ensure safety.
Avoid reasoning or questioning in the moment—focus on helping them calm down first.
Allow time to recover without judgment.

For Shutdowns:

Reduce stimulation and allow quiet, calm recovery time.
Avoid forcing communication—gentle, non-verbal support is often best.
Offer simple choices if needed (e.g., “Would you like to sit here or in the other room?”).
Respect the need for solitude but remain available for support.

Why This is Important

I have had several clients, usually with autism or ADHD with autistic traits, who experienced meltdowns and/or shutdowns but didn't know what they were. They thought of them as "not coping" or emotional dysregulation. By learning more about meltdowns and shutdowns they were able to notice triggers in their environment. For a few, that meant changing jobs since their current job was triggering shutdowns or meltdowns. For others, it was about learning to notice and react to their building overwhelm or to modify their environment or request accommodations to help when overwhelm was building.

Knowledge is power, and recognising meltdowns and shutdowns in oneself or a loved one can help with understanding, acceptance, and effective action.

A woman with ADHD describes her meltdowns and how she manages them
More about meltdowns and shutdowns in autistic people from the NHS